The Sex Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex brings tremendous significance and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), that makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are attracted to very difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, wellness, closeness, and love .

But when issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't admit it, this post however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that much of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in cities, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North like it states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sex. Lots of gay guys wish to find out from the starting if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow with time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, values, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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