The Sex Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings tremendous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to incredibly hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel very near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, wellness, love, and closeness .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the check this sex is fantastic!" They most likely wouldn't confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that many of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in urbane locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North includes, "I think try this out this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with common sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, worths, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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