The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, making love carries tremendous significance and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be great as well).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes read the full info here the chance to have sex with somebody we are attracted to extremely tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, closeness, well-being, and love .

However when issues arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They probably would not admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that a lot of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, worths, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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